By Pragya
Illustration by Yogee Chandrasekaran
1.
In the time you took to respond to my text
I got a driver’s licence
Drove all the way to Nepal from Bangalore
And started a family with a man named Diljeet
Diljeet speaks my love language
Emotional intimacy doesn’t spook him
Diljeet speaks my love language
Public opinion doesn’t spook him
Diljeet speaks my love language
Even paperwork & government officials don’t spook him!
Instead,
He guards my heart,
Enjoys my art,
He gets my flowers,
Makes me whiskey sours
I spank his bum
And he makes me cum
Again
Again and
Again
2.
In the time you took to respond to my text
I uninstalled all dating apps
And ordered a vibrator online
I started by
Erasing all the trivia about Chelsea FC, drones and death metal from the depths of my brain
Then went on to
Unlearn the taste of your favourite food, the way you smelt and parted your hair
Unlike you,
My vibrator is
Available
Dependable and
Secure (can you imagine?)
Unlike you,
It doesn’t interrupt my sentences
It doesn’t pretend to be feminist to get laid
It never tries to explain Reddit to me – very slowly
Unlike you,
It makes me cum
Again
Again and
Again